Wednesday, March 05, 2014

“Everyone here thinks you’re a jackass.”~~Obama to Putin


“If you think I’m the only one who feels this way, you’re kidding yourself,” Mr. Obama said, jabbing his finger in the direction of the Russian President’s face. “Ask Angela Merkel. Ask David Cameron. Ask the Turkish guy. Every last one of them thinks you’re a dick.”~~ Obama to Putin


ST. PETERSBURG (The Borowitz Report)—Hopes for a positive G20 summit crumbled today as President Obama blurted to Russia’s Vladimir Putin at a joint press appearance, “Everyone here thinks you’re a jackass.”


The press corps appeared stunned by the uncharacteristic outburst from Mr. Obama, who then unleashed a ten-minute tirade at the stone-faced Russian President.

“Look, I’m not just talking about Snowden and Syria,” Mr. Obama said. “What about Pussy Riot? What about your anti-gay laws? Total jackass moves, my friend.”

Jackass moves??? I don't think so!

As Mr. Putin narrowed his eyes in frosty silence, Mr. Obama seemed to warm to his topic.

“If you think I’m the only one who feels this way, you’re kidding yourself,” Mr. Obama said, jabbing his finger in the direction of the Russian President’s face. “Ask Angela Merkel. Ask David Cameron. Ask the Turkish guy. Every last one of them thinks you’re a dick.”

Putin swimming in freezing Siberian lake bareback. Jackass moves??? I don't think so!


Shortly after Mr. Obama’s volcanic performance, Mr. Putin released a terse official statement, reading, “I should be afraid of this skinny man? I wrestle bears.”


After one day of meetings, the G20 nations voted unanimously on a resolution that said maybe everyone should just go home.


America's debt clock real time

3 comments:

Julio said...

Potus has completely lost it. He's gone and blown a gasket! Putin's 'jackass' moves have got him stewing in tantrums. He simply cannot believe how quickly the Russian bear has moved. He's been outmaneuvered and he knows it. Who's gonna help him clean up this awful stench? Definitely not Merkel or Cameron nor the Turkey guy - Obama is all on his own now.

Chaka Lumis said...

And go home they did! How I wish they would get to stay home. America should have said to Obomber a long time ago "Hey son, you're grounded for live!"

Lookee Looky said...

Hahahahahaha! Look what those jackass moves got Putin, Mr Obama! A huge slice of the pie called Crimea! Hahahahaha!